Impoverishing insides: something simple we can do
some spontaneously voiced thoughts about (effortlessly) enriching the human condition
Note: This letter is a voice message from me to you. Here is the text version. 👇
Tap to listen while you read. ☝️
Hi friends,
Since yesterday I've been thinking about the importance of looking into one another's eyes.
It came to me while I was watching a video made by
. She has the substack, Voice of Moxie. And she was saying I think something like she was going to… she went to a supermarket and she was speaking to maybe a cashier or another woman. I don't really remember, but how she felt when she looked into this other woman's eyes. And she spoke a lot about the connection between women.But I'm thinking just how we don't look into each other's eyes as often as we used to.
Obviously, a lot has to do with us looking down at our phones and our other devices. And it happens even within our homes, right?
You're speaking to someone and they don't look up. Maybe you don't even look up when you are the one initiating the conversation.
I was watching another video the other day and I don't remember who said it, but this man said that technology is for the poor. And all of us who use it are so poor -
impoverished. Our children.
In fact, the people who invent technology, often - those wealthy people that are behind it all, they don't allow their children to use technology. But we do.
And it's changing the way we interact with one another.
And going back to what Katie said: how good does it feel when we really connect with one another and we look into one another's eyes?
And I wonder, how many problems have developed because we don't have this connection anymore? Within our families. Broken marriages.
Probably also in business, in the workplace, in school.
How do we change from within when we don't have this regular contact with one another and we're connected with devices instead?
Or maybe just too busy to stop what we're doing because we have to get everything done on our list. So even if it's daily chores… and we don't stop to look within one another's eyes.
I wrote a note the other day: it came to me, if I couldn't speak and if you couldn't speak, but we looked into one another's eyes for long enough, we would understand everything that matters most.
And I really do believe this.
My husband… um, we've gone through a difficult period. I'm just settling now my mind, my heart. My whole family is. And if you don't know, if you haven't followed - my father-in-law passed away after a very long, difficult last period. And we were taking care of him.
…so my husband was speaking at the funeral and he told a story about his father who already had Alzheimer's, but one day, he went to his father, and he hugged him. But not like a hug that we normally give. You know that lasts maybe a second or two. He really hugged him and he stayed there. He stayed there for many minutes, maybe even five.
And at first, his dad started pulling away after just a few seconds. He was resisting, like most of us would. Our children, do they resist when we give them a hug? Maybe that's connected to the smartphones too. Or our spouses, our partners?
And he said, after he (his dad) stopped resisting, he melted. He melted into his arms and they stayed there together for probably about 3 to 5 minutes.
If you think of a hug, that's a really long time for most of us. And then he left.
And we were at dinner at a friend's house, and his father called - his father was still able to use the phone. And he called him to thank him for that hug (he could hear the tears in his father’s eyes).
Hugs, like looking into one another's eyes, are medicinal. We have so many wounds inside and this connection is so important, so important.
So I'm thinking about this now. And I'm thinking, you know, why don't we do this more? We know it makes us feel good.
I mean I know, I go around and when I'm really connected with someone, when I'm really like looking into their eyes… and we’re, we’re… we don't need to say anything special, but there is this connection, this feeling…
and it's like we're being touched even without touching, And this brings me to think of all the senses we don't use anymore and how important - and how important these senses are.
And maybe we could be a little bit more mindful about this.
I'm just sharing this with you today. I'm in a beautiful place. My husband and I came away for one night and we're really trying to resettle into our lives - a more normal routine. But not losing the slowness that we fell into in this last period.
When you're dealing with something difficult, you need to slow down (take the magic pauses). Otherwise, you know you can't keep going (we experienced this too).
So to hold on to how precious these moments are and how precious connection is.
Okay. That's all I'm going to say today. Take it as if I'm hugging you for 3 to 5 minutes right now. And maybe an invitation -
an invitation to try this with someone in your life; someone you love, someone maybe that you have a difficult relationship with. Or maybe, if you've lost a parent, maybe you can imagine yourself hugging them. And see what it adds to your heart, to your life.
Sending you love and I hope you have a beautiful day. bye bye. xo Danni
After I ended the recording, I continued to sit and take in the peace surrounding me: the colors, the sounds, the scents, the breeze on my skin and moving through my hair, beneath my dress. I sat, me with my senses.
And then I thought of us and I wrote this poem. Absolutely unedited. Spontaneous. As I would want our hugs and every form of deep, living connection to be.
the eyes of us
i sit here dreaming
of the eyes of two,
of the day you and i
might meet.
we have gotten to know
each other's hearts
so well
from this
afar.
words.
sometimes voice.
an image of
us in our distant
seats on this
floating green and blue
mass.
but
if ever
we are so lucky
to be under
the same exact
square meter
of sky,
so comfortably
i will surely hug you
to
feel a
human realness
covered by
beautiful, tender skin.
and then after a long hug,
i cannot wait
for our
loving eyes
to touch.
mine in yours, yours in mine.
and the eyes of us will
enter intimately within
and
remove all separation
cancel all world fear
and everything
except
the purest, sweetest emotion.
and these eyes of us will
communicate without words
curiosity friendship unity trust,
meld effortlessly
together
like chocolate on hot marshmallow.
and inner places
will soften,
drip lava-ishly,
but warm
not scorching.
amalgamate with
everything i already
knew and know
we would and will
see hear taste smell touch
feel
with the simply sumptuous
eyes of us.
i ask you, sweet friend, tell me now
when, if…
will you look deeply
into my eyes?
Danni!!! I would give you that 5 minute hug as a dear sister if I saw you in person. This post was one that made me sit down and breathe. It's so deep and utterly soul nourishing. Thank you, sister.