a weekend scroll of wisdom & reflection

24 thoughts to help us with perspective, surrendering, and loving life (of course!)

Aug 02, 2025

To surrender means to let go so profoundly that you no longer see it in the rearview mirror. It is that distanced from your life. Only then, is ‘to render’ something else possible.
Today's ‘main meal’ question: Can I lose complete sight of my expectations of life (and just love living)?

Hi beautiful beings,

I started this letter out completely differently. I worked on it many times. But when it doesn’t flow, it doesn’t flow. And maybe this makes sense here because I am writing about letting go.

So I am surrendering expectations of this letter, along with lots of other stuff, and offering a nice, neat, comforting list (not all lists feel soothing, but wisdom lists do); a list of all the things I have been thinking about and putting into my living practice these past weeks (months. ok, maybe years). Some reminders, some open ended questions, some stories. Not the most eloquent or poetic, but definitely abundant and simply useful.

Simplicity is the way. I know this by heart and whenever I apply it to my life, my life thanks me with a sensation that feels like stripping down naked and floating face up, limbs spread,
on the surface of a serene lake surrounded by majestic, snow capped moutains being kissed by sunlight,
while eating freshly picked berries dipped in freshly mounted whipped cream that magically arrive in my mouth at the perfect pace - no hands required.
A mix of birds singing and Mozart in the background.
Simple freedom.
And I have absolutely nowhere else I have to go. And I can take up all of the space I deserve.
I am safe. I am cared for.

Got lost in this vision for an extra sec. Hope you did too.

Now, here we go:

Something that touched me just this morning.

This week has been extra difficult for my father-in-law, Orlando. It seemed as if we were losing him. For days he did not respond at all. Then this morning he woke up talking - speaking English! (he was an English professor)

We were driving Orlando to Centro Margherita, a day center for Alzheimer's, and my husband (who has been singing this song non-stop for days, but this is another issue) put on Don't Stop Me Now by Queen. Amazing song despite the controversy. Orlando lit up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. He then started crying, trying to voice out that this song was one of the best….

we couldn't understand the rest.

I am telling you this because we forget that this life is a bomb of a gift until the very end. And to remind us that the person who seems to be no longer here, is. And that you are doing great. And that only love matters. It provides. Nobody can convince me otherwise.

A story that I reread recently. Many of us have heard many versions. This one is from Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth:

It is the story of a wise man who won an expensive car in a lottery.

His family and friends were very happy for him and came to celebrate. ‘Isn’t it great!’ they said. ‘You are so lucky.’ The man smiled and said ‘Maybe.’

For a few weeks he enjoyed driving the car. Then one day a drunken driver crashed into his new car at an intersection and he ended up in the hospital, with multiple injuries. His family and friends came to see him and said, ‘That was really unfortunate.’ Again the man smiled and said, ‘Maybe.’

While he was still in the hospital, one night there was a landslide and his house fell into the sea. Again his friends came the next day and said, ‘Weren’t you lucky to have been here in hospital.’ Again he said, ‘Maybe.’

We know the moral of the story, don't we?

Not to be so quick to place a label of “good” or “bad” on the things that happen in our life. None of us can ever know what is going to happen next.

Only a few days after my knee became swollen the inner voice chit-chat began:

Will it be less swollen tomorrow? Will it be better by Monday, 3 days - 3 days should be enough. Will I need surgery? If I need surgery, how long will the wait be, the recovery be; will I recover? Am I going to have problems walking when I am in my 70's, 80's, and 90's?

(Do you see how far in the future I am going here?)

Gosh, I hope it is less swollen tomorrow, at least better by Monday. I really pray that I don't need surgery. If only I had stopped walking the other day… if only I had jumped less rope after Kenia was born (Kenia will be 21 in September). If only…

(do you see how far back I am going here?)

I didn't answer not even one of these questions. Didn't even try. As they were voiced, both externally and internally too many times, I knew that they meant nothing. Not the questions. Not the possibile answers.

future past, past future and even when we rationally know that

we only have what we have right now. What is, is what we have. Nothing more.

We do get better at being more aware of this with practice (and I have) and it is also something we need to accept; some of this mind vomit is here to stay.

And I do believe this too serves us, if nothing else, to remind us…

we are so human.

I am not one of those people who say everything happens for a reason.

There is no reasoning with intentionally starving humans;

for me, it is difficult to reason war; to justify one life to be more or less valuable than any other;

it must be impossible to rationalize your child dying for any reason. No I can’t say this. Some things are just atrocious and without answers. Tragedy will take our breath away over and over again.

Again, we are human (and I am incredibly thankful for this).

But…

I do believe in the power of the response to everything.

Everything in your life can feel swollen, and you can still find awe in a single flower and spectacular view.

In most cases, if not all, it is so much more about how we respond to what is, than what is. Because this is the only thing we can control - how we show up and proceed.

Learn not to look back, but if you do, use it to paint a sensational next scene.

You don’t simply respond though…

You train. You train a lot. You train forever. You need to prepare for the most difficult moments of your life before they arrive if you want a chance to follow bright light to the other side of terrible, and eventually find that something terrific.

I believe in the rainbow after the storm and the gold at the end of the rainbow - but it won't just happen; you gotta personally draw it in the sky and then run, walk, crawl, or butt slide yourself towards the pot.
(with this knee thingy, I am ‘butting’ it all the way up and all the way down.)

The living practice is so much about radical responsibility.

Radical responsibility does not require you to see the positive in what remains unfathomable and unexplainable, but it does require you to take responsibility of how you move forward.

Can you squeeze some sweet, loving mojo from the sucker - the suckiest?

Note to self: I can radiate from the struggle. I can. I can.

Before all else, supporting another is simply listening.

A yoga friend is going through something similar to my knee thingy. The difference is that it is her shoulder and she is a lot younger, and her whole life depends on her being able to count on a functioning shoulder again. I mean rent, eletricity, car insurance, and food.

And she feels swollen with worry and frustration. She went on and on about it.

I just listened.

The gentle push.

I understand you. I have had many moments in my life when I was stopped in my tracks and could not function at full capacity. Back, knees… I lost 70% of my hearing in my left ear when I had my personal training business and my daughters were 7 and 4.
Many times just incredibly debilitating emotions.
I intimately know moments of frustration, fear, and stress to survive the stress.

So feel it honey. You know how. You teach this.
And then, when you are ready, remember the other parts of your practice. The flexibility, the mobility. Remember the gold that is within you. Solutions cannot be found if we are complaining under the covers indefinitely.
Is an obstacle an obstacle? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on you.
Know that I am reminding myself too.

and I was. I am.

I am the gold.

in fact, the conversation continued after I pressed send…

The remembering is the awakening, right? It is your wake up call - hey magnificent you, it is time to move into your golden light.

I remember that sometimes things persist because we are resisting them.

What are you resisting, honey?
Are you resisting the change being called upon you in this moment?

Creativity is necessary.

At some point you must get up and get creative - create something else, an alternative.

This quote comes to mind:

“…if I am not actively creating something, then I am probably actively destroying something (myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind).” -

Elizabeth Gilbert

Lots of people are stuck in the swell right now.

Someone extremely close to me has stopped focusing on the rest of her life because of a health issue. At 60, she feels like a failure because she is unemployed again. She is treating her entire existence as if it was frozen in an ice cube.

I threw these questions into the ring:

“Who are you when you stop labeling yourself sick or a failure in life?”
If you stopped thinking about your physical problems, how could you fix your other problems?

Something that I did not say (because I know that her work is hers as much as my work is mine) - the options are truly limitless (as are all of ours):

she can improve family communication and the general tone at home with a few simple tweeks to some bad habits.
she can get any job, not thinking about the outcome, but focusing on finding a work environment that will bring ease (joy!!) to her body.
she can get out of the house more, move her body, eat healthier.
she can start a project that makes her happy; or better than this, full and in peace - fully in peace.
she can surrender the expectations.
“Nobody is expecting you to become anything but who you are; only you are. Redefine your definition of success. It is time.”

This I did say. What others are gonna think, how will this look, I am such a disappointment - this is what often swells us the most.

Joy is so underrated as a means to health and healing. Peace is so underrated as a symbol of success.

I firmly believe that once she improves all the stuff she can control, my girlfriend's body will follow.

Again, I am very much pointing this conversation in my direction. Remember when I wrote that a fever is never just a fever? - my knee thingy is not just a knee thingy.

I know.

The entire world feels swollen right now.

We are so inflamed with everything that we are absorbing on a global level. It just seems to be getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

Are we wrong to expect a more loving, safer human race and planet?

How do we take radical responsibility of something so out of control? We can’t just RICE1 this kind of thing.

Or maybe we can. Remember: we can always do something.

I do believe. I do believe.

I created this (use and share if you like it):

Rest in what is beautiful.
Ice the fear, judgment, and expectations and render healthy conversation instead.
Compress the hate with love and compassion.
Elevate one another’s spirit.

No excuses. There is so much abundance.

And let's admit this: most of us - if you are reading this write now, it is proof - are in a somewhat privileged situation.

My knee. My girlfriend's shoulder. My loved one's problems. Your identity crisis, financial situation, breakup, or other setback. Our confusion, disappointment, and despair.

None of this is everything. One difficult aspect is only one difficult aspect.

Two? Three? Ten even (those moments when it feels like the sky is falling on top of your whole life)? - still a small piece of this beautiful life.

Complaining under the covers is never the best choice. (I already said it but I needed to hear it again. Maybe you too.)
Something good can always rise from something (perceived as) bad.

Something gets rewired in our brain when we are challenged. This rewiring sets us up for heightened creativity. When we can no longer possibly do it the old way (and especially when we know that we have to do it anyway), we are forced to figure out a new way. Sometimes it surprises us; it is even better.

When I got back home from months of travel in May, I was unable to put myself back into motion. The usual week of slow transition wasn't enough. Two weeks. Nothing. A month, I was calm and grateful, but my head wasn't working. It felt overloaded and confused. Thoughts of decisions still not made, the mess around us building up, my mom alone in Florida in that big house, other family members with pretty serious problems. Responsibility to show up shooting at me and my husband from all sides. His dad. 2
Where do I start?
I would open up my book doc. Look and then close. Canva for my other book project. Make a slight modification to a page and then press on the ‘x’ in the upper righthand corner of the screen again. Open and close my social media pages without looking at anything. I would repeat this same thing with the fridge. Every 5 minutes open, close. Unable to remain still. Unable to focus on anything because I was constantly focusing on everything.

Then the knee and I was forced to slow down. From not resisting and finding true peace, my mind began to work again: new ideas, alternative ways, restored motivation. This is the light shining though what previously appeared as just a terrible, debilitating crack.

In fact, among other forms of creativity, Bare HEARTS was conceived!3

Journal entry (from my first days of complete bedrest)

I look out the wide window of my trailer, home for the past 6 years. I have never looked at this no view so much as the past 12 days. The birds are singing. The leaves rustling.
The trailer is surrounded by greenery. Protected? Enclosed? Smothered? Nothing to see?
It depends on perception, doesn’t it? Like for almost everything.
There is a glimpse of sunlight coming through the bushes and specks of blue sky.
Limited vision of mostly green leaves and branches with a bird popping in to pay me a visit several times a day. I have too much space to imagine what is happening outside my four tin walls, lots of space to think.
I notice a nest, just where my sight through-the-window almost ends. Oh, life… how precious, I think to myself. I am not alone.
And I remind my impatience that I am here for a good reason: I am loving myself.
I continue to trust.

You get to do this.

Replacing the language and feeling 'I have to' with 'I get to' is one of the most empowering things you can do for your life.

While I am caring for my knee, I can feel sorry for myself that I am hours alone while my family enjoys going out in the beautiful weather, that I do not have the space or comfort of a house. I can feel frustrated that I had to interrupt my regular yoga practice and some projects. I can whine about the pain and worry about the need for surgery. Or I can think, Wow, what a privilege to get to do this.

I get to give my body time to heal, not having to worry about getting back to a traditional job and life duties. I have a family who supports me. I am loved. I get to stay here in bed and rest. I get to.

(we can apply this to so much of life.)

We are not alone. Ever. There is so much life around us. Connect with someone. Connect with me.

It is a lifetime challenge for all of us.

We will never arrive to, I have arrived. I can relax now. So be gentle. Love your life one day at a time. It sounds clichè, but it is the only thing that works for me. This Summer is so difficult for my family and I; in many ways it feels like we are entangled and on hold. But I will not wait to love my life.

My favorite mantra: I shall not miss this life.

There is an absolute sense of freedom knowing that you are good without needing anyone to tell you, without needing to do anything to prove it, without your life having to be any specific way -

good, meaning golden and awe provoking, and not being attached to any expectations or conditioned meaning. Maybe just love.

Can you say this for yourself today?

I am good. I am a good human being as I am.

I am good as I am. I am.

as always, take what resonates and serves. share something if you are feeling generous. my heart is reaching towards yours, xo Danni