ed #8: Staying Human

Bare HEARTS: Q&A with best-selling author, marketing coach, entrepreneur, and global keynote speaker, Bryan Kramer

Feb 08, 2026

Cross-posted by How To Live This Life with Danni Levy

"Danni Levy created this incredible space called Bare HEARTS, and I got the privilege of sitting with her for a real conversation. Not about awards or accolades, but about what it actually takes to stay human in a world that keeps trying to speed us up and polish us down. This interview touches on sobriety, rebuilding, and what really matters. Read it, sit with it, and let's keep this conversation going."

- Bryan Kramer

“…being human is not just a state of existence; it’s a raw, unpolished practice of connection, trust, and courage.” -Bryan Kramer

Hi all and welcome to Bare HEARTS. This is a Q&A series where I invite sensational Substackers to speak with us about their experience with self-love, well-being, core values, relationships, and personal responsibility.

Bare HEARTS because we are so exhausted of holding up the pretty presentation. It is like we are all waiting for someone to come and tell us that it is okay to get super transparent and just be. This is the place. This is our okay.

Holding space for honest conversation & love as we grow with one another.

Bryan Kramer is a best-selling author, renowned business strategist, global keynote speaker, executive marketing coach, and has been called the “Zen Master to Digital Marketers” by Forbes.

He is the CEO of H2H Companies, an executive coaching company, and co-owner of PureMatter, a very successful Silicon Valley marketing agency.

His work has been featured in Inc. Magazine, Fast Company, and USA Today. He also delivered a groundbreaking TED Talk—the first of its kind, and has interviewed some of the greats, including Ted Turner, John Grisham, and George Zimmer.

Bryan's first two books, There Is No B2B or B2C: It’s Human-to-Human (H2H) and Shareology: How Sharing Is Powering the Human Economy, explore the power of sharing and deep human connection.

Bryan’s Substack publication, BEing Human, is where Bryan reveals the messy, raw, and deeply human truths about trust, leadership, and connection - what it takes to show up authentically in life and work.

Bryan currently lives with his family in Lisbon where he continues to cultivate a very beautiful and very human journey.

What I love about Bryan

I love how Bryan keeps reinventing himself to protect his own humanity. He has a beautiful mix of confidence and humility; I truly admire this amazing combination.

I love that he puts staying human as a priority in both his professional and personal life. And I love how one of his main goals is to help others do the same. Boy does the world need more of this!

I really love that despite how successful Bryan is professionally, he gives off the vibe of that amazing next door neighbor - the one you are going to have a blast organizing the Sunday picnic party with. Bryan is someone I want as my friend, not because of his accomplishments, but because of his huge heart, because I would instinctively trust him with my own very human insides.

Now let’s get to know him and his heart better. Here is…

Who was your ‘hero’ growing up? What characteristic of this hero helped you become who you are today?

My hero was always my dad. He wasn’t loud about it, but he showed up for people in a way that made you want to be better. He had this grounded confidence. Watching him with his patients, medical students, and our family taught me that being steady while still showing emotion in a storm matters more than being impressive in the sunshine.

Share with us something that you experienced as negative in your youth that you later acknowledged as being a portal for building inner strength and confidence.

I grew up feeling like the odd kid who could never quite get it perfect. I tried to outthink everything. Outperform. Outsmile. Outsmart. It didn’t work. That constant inner scramble turned into burnout as an adult. But that struggle became the crack where I learned how to listen to myself, not outrun myself. Today I coach people through the very patterns I once wrestled with, which feels like life’s way of giving me a second shot at my own story.

(I believe that growing up and into our true selves often involves this realization: slow, humble human is so much more powerful than trying to always be the superhero. And I love how this is really a journey back to who you were always meant to be: the odd kid doing things differently (better!) than most.)

What’s a big part of who you are that people might not see until they get to know you better?

People see the speaker, the coach, the guy who smiles in photos. What they don’t always see is how sensitive I am to energy in a room. I feel people long before they speak. It helps me coach, but it also means I need quiet time after being around big groups. My wife would tell you I vanish into my own thoughts more often than I admit.

(This reminds me of when I had my personal trainer business. Even back then, I was working so intimately with people’s emotions. They came to release more than lift. And I loved being this 360° well-being coach for my clients. I would come home so happy, but completely exhausted and needing calm and silence to recharge. I see ‘energy sensitivity’ as a fundamental quality of you being able to offer what you offer. You cannot expect to tap into what others need without such a fully feeling experience. And yes, it is fundamental to consistenly take time to return to balanced energy.)

What aspect of yourself took you a long time to accept? Did anything or anyone in particular influence this act of self-love?

That I’m not supposed to be the guy who knows everything. Sobriety forced me to drop the armor. My wife, Courtney, and a few close friends helped me see that admitting I don’t know something isn’t failure. It’s freedom. It’s also the doorway to real connection.

(We spoke about this in the last Bare HEARTS with Alice Kuipers. Alice shared this with us: “I want to come at all these things as someone who has lots to learn.” Bryan, I agree with you. ‘Not knowing’ leads to true communication and intimate sharing of self. When we need to know everything, we cannot possibly let anyone in. ‘Not having to know’ dismounts the walls of certainty, insecurity, and ego. The desire to learn leads us to the truest possibility to connect with one another - which is exactly what we are doing here!)

Interesting how you say that sobriety forced you to drop the armor. Alcohol, drugs, and many other types of dependencies have become a common crutch for many. I see it as an attempt to hide from ourselves… from life. It becomes a fake, safe ‘no-feel, no show’ zone. In this way, the journey to sobriety before all else is a ‘return to self-love (love life)’ journey. Can you talk about this and tell us briefly about this part of your journey?

Alcohol wasn’t protecting me from life. It was protecting me from myself. Every drink was permission to not show up fully, to stay comfortable in the performance of who I thought I should be.

The decision came when I realized I’d spent decades building things, all while being only half-present. The irony wasn’t lost on me: preaching authenticity while numbing myself. So I stopped. I ended up getting kicked in the butt one night when a trip to the ER showed me that it was time to do something about it.

Early sobriety felt like walking around without skin. Every emotion at full volume, every interaction unfiltered, every insecurity visible. It was a different level of vulnerability admitting I was powerless. But here’s what I discovered: that raw exposure is where the answer lives. You can’t be truly seen while hiding. You can’t build deeper relationships with yourself or others. The strength to stay sober doesn’t come from willpower or discipline. It comes from finally valuing the real you more than the protected you.

I stay on track because going back would mean choosing comfort over truth. And I’ve learned that a comfortable life and a meaningful life are rarely the same thing. Sobriety forced me to drop old sabotaging habits. I’m more alive now than I’ve ever been. More myself. More present for the people who matter. Sobriety gave me back my capacity to show up.

(Thank you for this. Sobriety is a whole topic on its own and deserves an entire piece. But this little bit of your experience offers so much. I must repeat this for us: ‘raw exposure is where the answer lives’. So powerful.)

What’s one thing you’ve stopped pretending you’re okay with?

I’m done pretending I’m fine when I’m overwhelmed. I used to smile through it. Now I’d rather tell the truth and breathe again.

(Yes to this!!!! It is so much better for all.)

Tell us about a personal failure or disappointment that wound up being a giant leap forward.

The moment I realized I no longer recognized myself in my own company nearly broke me. I kept building and winning awards. keynoting, getting on lists, TEDTalks and the list goes on, all the while I was quietly losing myself. That low point cracked something open that no tidy business plan ever could. It sent me into a rebirth of sorts. I took back my health, made a giant u-turn in life and created a better relationship with myself, my wife and my kids.

(It takes so much courage and strength to step back and actually change when a business is going well. Putting self-love and relationships before the successful image - I truly admire this.)

Let’s speak more about this - you arriving at this point when you no longer felt connected with the company that you built and despite all the success, feeling like you wanted to abandon it all. What did you ultimately discover about yourself when you began to question your life? What do you do to maintain a sense of deeper connection?

When I hit that wall, the most painful part was realizing I’d stopped listening to myself. I rebuilt everything from that realization. Today I feel far more connected to my work because it aligns with who I am inside, not who I thought I should be. I keep that connection alive by checking in with myself every morning, followed by… ”let’s do this!”

If you could travel back in time, for what specific challenge would want to be given a do-over?

I’d go back and treat myself with more grace in the early days of building PureMatter. I pushed too hard and ignored every signal from my own body. I’d still work hard, just not at the cost of myself.

No matter how successful, we all doubt ourselves sometimes. What makes you doubt yourself the most, and what do you do to regain confidence?

I doubt myself when the noise gets loud. When I forget that I’m allowed to move slower than the world around me. I regain my confidence by getting quiet. Walking in Lisbon on the cobblestone streets. Talking with my kids. Calling someone I trust and grabbing a coffee. Remembering that presence, not speed, keeps the wheels in motion.

(This last line - we can practice breathing this in when we find ourselves in the Land of Overwhelm.)

What part of your life needs the most love right now?

My body. I’ve been focused on it more lately, but it needs the tenderness I’ve given my mind these past few years.

What is your go-to personal mantra?

Stay human. Everything else flows from there.

Have you ever had a brief encounter that significantly changed you/your life?

A Portuguese man once told me, in a random hallway in Lisbon, in a hospital of all places, that something I wrote in my first book helped him feel seen. His honesty hit me so hard it rearranged how I think about “audiences.” There is no crowd. Only humans.

I feel this last statement so deeply. Your first book, There Is No B2B or B2C: It’s Human-to-Human (H2H), speaks about marketing human-to-human, which I love. Not so long ago, I realized why I am not good at marketing myself or this social media thing, in general; I feel like a fake. I thrive with human-to-human, not human-to-audience (or followers or subscribers). Is it possible to market yourself and still remain completely human and honest?

Yes. You talk to people, not to “an audience.” You speak the way you’d speak across a table. When I wrote my first book, Human-to-Human, it hit a nerve because it wasn’t theory. It was a reminder. When I share something online, I picture one person I care about reading it. If it feels fake to the person in my mind, I don’t post it. I’m not always perfect at this, and I went down the whole “internet funnel rabbit hole,” and got out of that place, phew!

Having goals is important. I believe that they are a true declaration of our desire to live fully. However, we often get so absorbed by them (especially when we get stuck in moments of challenge) that our need to feel accomplished consumes our present moment. Are you able to maintain a balance between having goals and living in the present moment? If so, how?

I’m learning to. Goals used to drag me out of my life. Now I set them like intentions, not goals. I walk toward my intentions without losing track of where my feet actually are.

(I can imagine you walking around with your mantra in your head to keep you on track: ‘Stay human. Stay human. Stay human.’)

When you aren’t in any of your professional roles, what makes you feel most alive?

Sailing in Lisbon. Laughing with my kids. The exact moment a camera clicks and I know I caught something real. Long dinners with Courtney. Quiet mornings before the world wakes.

Define success.

Success used to be external. Revenue. Awards. Growth charts. Not to get all zen, but it’s now the feeling of enjoying whatever I’m focused on in the moment. If I wake up excited for the day, that’s my most significant benchmark these days. Once I let go of the other stuff, ironically, everything else got even better with less stress around it all.

(This reminds me of Jerry Maguire's mentor, Dicky Fox, who said:“I love the mornings! I clap my hands every morning and say: This is gonna be a great day!”)

What is the best thing that you have learned from your children?

They want my truth, not some story I made up that I think they want to hear. They don’t like the polished version of me. They want the guy who shares the good stuff, the hard stuff, the funny stuff…and also listens. Ironically, I think that’s what everyone wants from each other.

(They want us. Nothing else matters without this. Great patenting blooms from this type of authenticity. If we cannot love ourselves no matter what, how will they learn to love themselves no matter what, how can they believe that we love them no matter what.)

I wrote: “We are creating a world full of low-self esteem humans. Is there anything more dangerous?” Something that saddens me about youth today is that I don’t see that spark that our generation had. We can blame it on the instability of the world, on the use of smartphones, on AI, on a system that wants to dehumanize us, on fear. Please share your thoughts about this.

I think our world numbs kids faster than it teaches them how to feel. They’re being raised inside a constant digital performance. The spark isn’t gone. It’s buried. They need adults who model real connection, not curated personas. They need spaces where their humanity isn’t something to monetize.

(You just gave me the chills, in the best way. - our kids need space where they can be freely, fully human. Can we create this for them, be an example of this for them? This definitely feels like it needs it’s own conversation. Hopefully in the Comments.)

What scares/hurts you most about this world? If you could give only one piece of advice to your children about this to keep their hope aflame, what would it be?

The speed. It’s chewing up attention, connection, and self-worth. I tell my kids to slow down long enough to hear themselves. If you can listen to what’s inside and learn to trust it, you can survive almost anything. My only desire for my kids is their happiness in whatever that means to them. I will never get in their way of doing what makes them happy and encourage them to search for what that means to them.

(Fundamental human skills, great parenting and loving here.)

In your TedTalk, you said: “I believe that all of us combined, when we share, we can reimagine our future.” You ask the audience to share something on social media that they believe might change the world. And you shared something too. I am so curious: What did you share that day? Would you still share the same thing today?

I shared a reminder that we shape the world when we share honestly. Today I’d share something simpler. I’d ask people to share one moment they’re proud of. Imperfection, connection, and empathy aren’t going anywhere, no matter what machinery algorithm innovation you throw at us next.

(Being proud of simple, human moments - so important. I would share something that we touched earlier: ‘Love yourself fully - every part of you. This is the greatest thing the world needs from you.’)

Speaking of feeling proud - when you interviewed Ted Turner, you asked him what he was most proud of. I love this question. Looking back, what are you most proud of?

That I rebuilt my life with my family and health at the center. Everything else is a bonus.

How and where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Still advising execs and leaders. Still writing. Still living in Lisbon with Courtney (we still have a place in the US, too). More peaceful. Less hurried. Helping leaders become more human in a world that will desperately need it. Another book will have been put out into the world. And the thrill of meeting new people, of sharing myself with them and them with me. I’m getting the itch for another TED but will see on that one, I have plenty on my list. ;-)

Is there anything else about anything that you want to bare with us?

Aging has softened me in the good ways. Sobriety gave me myself back. Joy comes easier. Humor lands quicker. And every year I feel myself becoming more human, which feels like the point.

(My heart is saying Yes 🙏 to all of this.)

Ok, this is extra. As a semi-nomad who has lived in several places, I must ask: Why Lisbon?

Lisbon slowed me down enough to hear myself think. The light, the water, the people, the feeling of being held by a city that breathes at a human pace. It feels like home because my nervous system finally sighed and said, yes, this.

(This is so nice. Lately, I have been thinking so much about how environments affect us and the importance of this sense of home. Thank you for sharing this with us.)

Note: I write the ‘what I love’ section before receiving the answers. It always feels so amazing when my instinct about the beauty of a human is right.

keep the conversation going prompt!

The year just started and we are already feeling exhausted from how much we are feeling. I believe that we need to make 2026 all about staying human. We need to keep returning devotedly to what matters most and have the courage to redefine our definition of success in order to protect the most human parts of ourselves in a world that is attacking our humanhood. The alternative is more fear, isolation, and indifference. We do not want this. Every choice we make is essential, as is every choice we fail to make. Better choices begin with standing grounded in what kind of life we want to create.

Here are two perfect points of reflection and exchange for a more human and connected continuation:

Think of and share one moment or aspect of your life that you are proud of right now, that maybe, is something you want to grow even more in 2026.
What definition of success are you going to carry with you this year that will help you return to and reinforce your desire to stay human?